Retirement, I'm not there yet. The official "day" hasn't arrived, but some official send offs have plucked my soul. "Well, how does retirement feel?" How do I answer that? I think the question gets at what am I feeling as I go through the process. The question implies, what are you going to do? Are you really not coming back? How can you not come back? You're not going to do anything? You're not dead or dying, what will you do every day? Are you happy, sad, worried, relieved? It's a tough question to answer. Most retirees have not retired before, so don't have a clue. The celebrations and recognitions are wonderful. The words spoken about me and to me are powerful, but even though they are using my name, they can't be talking about me. My mind steps aside and pretends this is all for someone else. It's easier to manage and enjoy while not becoming a blubbering mass of emotion. Selfishly I want to hear what is being said about me. My response is clinical. My training tells me, "you're going to get through this, just pay attention, there will be a test later." I think maybe I'm cheating those I love by not emoting more, or enough. How do they judge whether I've truly heard and "feel" what expressions of love they "feel." I hear you, I really do.

I'm not complaining. When you die, they bring flowers and talk nice about you. When you divorce, no one brings flowers and everyone quietly talks about you. When you retire, you get to see the flowers and hear the words. Retirement is better and that's the only one of these three I've experienced.

I think it's great fun to hear from "old timers" relate what they did or what they did together. I'd forgotten Rob Sharpe and others broke into the BSU by taking the red door off its hinges. Who remembers we had a red door? Who hangs a door with hinges on the outside? Leave it to clever college boys to figure a way in just to play a game of Balderdash. Why would Barry Johnson and other accomplices bury an Al Gore campaign sign in the BSU backyard? I don't get that one. And Stacy, you and other unnamed conspirators crashed into my truck and "buffed it out!?" I'm sure there are photos out there of lots of other escapades. I would never have known about the "table slide" without someone putting them up on Facebook. I'm sure Stephen Head invited you all to an Airsoft battle "in" the BCM when I explicitly forbade it. And now, that former Resident is an Army Chaplain! I wonder what Maj. David Bottoms and Maj. Mike Wood would say about that. For those of you who remember the "Chums," they were harmless, but many of you were afraid they were undermining the mission of the B, when they were actually delighting in being "on mission." Two time BSU President, Troy Rust will forever be banned as Gargamel by the Chumalums Damon, Richard and Joe. What a hoot.

Thanks for the surprise party. Thanks for walking with me. Thanks for the memories.